Wacky Dispatches...You'll love this..

[Barrett]

So, I was at work yesterday and we ended up running out butts off starting at like 8am and not stopping until like 9pm. Below is the commentary between myself and our rather humerous dispatcher as we arrived back at our station...

Me: 304 dispatch.

Dispatch: Go ahead 304.

Me: 304 is back at post.

Dispatch: No you aren't.

Me: We aren't?

Dispatch: No, you're on your way to 1245 W. Main Street....man with difficulty breathing...

Me:(As we head out and turn the sirens on) Are you sure we aren't back at post?

Dispatch: Well you shouldn't be, should I send engine 23?

Me: Ummm, sure.

About two minute go by...

Dispatch: 304 and engine 23.

Me: 304, what now?

Dispatch: Someone left the garage door open...

Engine 23: Oops, I guess I should have shut that....

Dispatch: Ummm, dispatch to 304.

Me:(as we are pulling up to the house) Go ahead.

Dispatch: Calls been cancelled.

Me: Oh you're just evil.

[Barrett]

Disptach: What's everyone's status? (After a second call)
304: I'm clear
Engine 23: I'm clear too
Dispatch: We're all clear!
304: PUSH TO SHOCK! PUSH TO SHOCK!

304: There is no one answering can you try the callback
Dispatch: are you at the apartment door or the building door
304: the apartment door.
Dispatch: Standby.. oh wait the text says she can't come to the door, I'll have to send you resources for entry.
304: That's great, now you notice, what do we do in the mean time?
306: Huff and Puff and blow the door down!!!

Dispatch: Unit 304, respond to area of XXXXXXX for the small aircraft or spaceship in distress.
304: Spaceship? Uh.... OK. Responding. (ten minutes later)
Unit 82 - We're cleared from the scene, it was just a traffic helicopter. (five minutes later)
Dispatch: Unit 304, did you ever get a last name on that patient?
304: You mean the helicopter?
Dispatch: Affirmative, you released against medical advice, didn't you?
304: The helicopter? Umm, no.
Dispatch: Oh, it didn't crash?