Greyson, Derek

Personal log reflections regarding events during missions or shoreleave

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Kersare
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Greyson, Derek

Post: # 3608Post Kersare
Tue Nov 30, 2010 7:32 pm

<Mission 17 - Inferno's Light>

<<Derek's Quarters, Day 15, 0800>>

Personal Log ON:

It's good to have a routine again. Being part of the Security/Tactical department, even in a limited capacity, has been good for me, I think. I believe the Counselor, Nora, would agree. Not everyone accepts me, of course, but some seem to be coming around.

I know that I am still not myself...not truly. Honestly, I am not sure that I ever will be. When I speak with Isabel, when I look in her eyes, I know she remembers the true me. I know she wants me to be the man she remembers, the man she loves. Am I? Can I be that man? There's a big part of me that would like to be that man, the man that she wants. My emotions, though, are still buried. I know what they are and how I should feel, but somehow, I don't feel them...not as I should.

I'm hoping that with more time and help from Nora, I will be able to. But I'm just not sure. If they haven't come back by now, will they?

Right now my attention is elsewhere... From the abandoned Mirror Universe vessel, the away team brought back a Vulcan named Setak. I find myself identifying with him. He is a Vulcan, but not a Vulcan...much like I am a Human but not a Human. Neither of us truly fits in. Well, perhaps he does in the Mirror Universe, but here he does not. He helped create a virus that could kill...I was part of the Borg who killed or assimilated countless people. He isn't trusted by this crew and nor am I...at least not fully.

I am intrigued by Setak and part of me would like to speak to him. I'm not sure that's a good idea, though. And right now he has guards outside his temporary quarters. I'm not sure if Aaron or Isabel would allow me to see him, regardless.

I'm not sure what will become of him. Will he go back to the Mirror Universe? Will he stay in our universe? If so, would he stay on the Malinche? I'm not sure if he'll have a choice or not, but if so, I hope he'll be able to stay. I'm not sure what kind of weight my thoughts would have on this, but perhaps I should try talking to Isabel. I have a feeling about Setak; I think he's meant to be among us, here. At least, I hope so. If he is, perhaps it will give me more hope about my situation...and maybe I'll have someone to talk to who understands.

Personal Log OFF:
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Captain Isabel Kersare
Commanding Officer
USS Malinche NCC-38997-A

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