Dallas, Karyn

Personal log reflections regarding events during missions or shoreleave

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Dallas
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Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:38 pm

Dallas, Karyn

Post: # 4458Post Dallas
Sat Apr 26, 2014 5:27 pm

[Episode 21, Bad Medicine]

<<Karyn Dallas' Office, USS Malinche, Day 3, 1600 hrs.>>

Chief Counselor's Log:

It sounds naive to say it aloud, but I honestly never expected to be assisting with another murder investigation, especially at this stage of my career. Though I made sure when I accepted the position with Starfleet Medical that I would not be a mere figure-head for Starfleet Counseling, a PADD pusher in shiny pips, but an actual hands-on clinician who continued to work in the field and to help other counselors take care of their crews, I knew there was going to be a certain degree of insulation from the drama of my early days - if only because the crews I was assigned to help were motivated to keep me from knowing just how chaotic things could get. No matter how much I try to reassure Captains and Chief Counselors that I could only help if I knew what was really going on, there's always been a certain amount of fear that I or my bosses would start pulling licenses because the mental health folks failed to recognize the criminal in their midst.

Gods knew, that's what I feared when I was a young counselor starting out, and even today, I still struggle when a member of my crews does something that I feel was somewhow foreseeable, like a violent crime or a suicide. Thankfully, it's never been the kind of thing to happen often, but even in this century when we've come so far in being able to understand and predict behavior, the sheer diversity in the universe makes it impossible to read everyone like a book. Not even telepaths can claim that.

I've responded to a great deal of of brutality in my career, and not just the combat related kind that many people associate with service in Starfleet. Besides suicides and suicide attempts, I've tended to survivors of rape, domestic violence, and even helped grieving friends and family come to terms when a loved one has been killed in a domestic violence related murder. People still suffer from the same problems they've always suffered from, even in this era of enlightment. In those cases, though, no matter how unfathomable the behavior or twisted the logic, the reasons behind the actions were relatively easy to ascertain.

But this case? I don't think I've ever been a witness to a crime this calculated and cold before. Whomever the killer turns out to be, I'm convinced I won't be staring at someone who lashed out in a moment of rage and panic, a person whose behavior is at least explainable, if not defendable. I can't imagine how devoid of emotion a person must be to elect to poison someone in public, ensuring not just agony for the victim, but for those who witnessed it. Jacob had his hands full with one of the servers present the night Janor was killed, poor girl, and Nora and I are still concerned about the other neurologists. It's awful enough to learn someone deliberately killed a man who spent his life healing others, but now we know he wasn't even the intended target? I think Security is going to keep that news under wraps for now, but there's still the matter of tending to everyone's emotional needs.

Somehow we've got to find a way to comfort people while still dealing with reality that we don't know who might be next. Anyone who thinks counseling is a cakewalk doesn't have a clue.
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Karyn Dallas
Acting Chief Counselor
USS Malinche NCC-38997-A

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