Tournneau, Derek

Personal log reflections regarding events during missions or shoreleave

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Tournneau, Derek

Post: # 4493Post Tournneau
Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:58 pm

<<Getting Reaquainted, Shoreleave Mission #22, Day 01>>

<<USS Malinche, CEO's Quarters, Deck Alpha-3 Forward, 2350 Hours>>

Personal Log ON:

Well, it's been a long two weeks! The ship is very nearly at 100% completion, and all primary and secondary systems are installed and appear to be functional. I've been able to meet several of my new crew, and I've gotten very well aquainted with the ship itself. I don't think that there's a nook or cranny of the "Mali", as the more tenured members of the crew are taken to calling her, that I haven't been in.

The cores are essentially brand new. It's incredible being on a ship that's just been built or refit. Everything is spotless - there is no detectable residue in the plasma relays, no microfracturing whatsoever in the dilithium matrix. The last time I had it so good was on the Impetuous's first mission. She was brand new when Mother assigned me to her after the war. It was Anaya's first Captaincy as well.

As amazing as being on a brand new Deneva-class was, being on a new ship like this infinitely more so - at least from the professional perspective. From the personal perspective, well.....

Nothing is really going to ever replace the Impetuous for me, at least not in that way, not that I can see happening at least. Who knows, the future is not certain anyway. But we built so much together: a business, a way of life, a love. I'm certain that I'm going to make friends, I've already made a few. Brex seems a gregarious sort, I think we're going to get along famously. Tojal is a brooding sort, another poor damaged individual, but perhaps even more so than I. I lost my wife, my ship, my crew; his entire civilization was laid to ruin. And his mother seems to be quite the vindictive harpy. I'm thankful that my family is close-knit and on the same page in life - but anyway...yes, I think we're going to get along well, too.

But even with new friends, I don't know if I'm going to be able to call the Mali home. I had friends at the Academy during my graduate work, I had friends on the Oberon to be sure. I still keep in touch with Jake Sullivan - he said they've discovered a new Class Y star with an interesting planetary system. They said preliminary reports show a huge dilithium deposit in the ring system of one the planets there. But even on the Oberon, it was a job. A fascinating one, a challenging one, a satisfying one. But still wasn't the same.

I suppose I've accepted that it never will be the same, but I've also realized that it's just a natural part of life. There isn't one thing in the universe, inorganic or organic, that remains the same forever. Even the Q seem to be able to grow and learn. So perhaps, being at home is simply being wherever you are.

The Captain certainly seems to be very nice - I'm glad she seems to be a little more on the professional and less on the militaristic side of command styles. I had heard that she was like that, but you never know until you hear it from the horse's mouth. I think it's going to go well working under her. She has had some really interesting run-ins as CO on this ship in the past, so she does know how to drop the hammer with the best of them. But she still commands respect without having to demand it. It also really helps having a CO that comes from an Engineering background. For one, it gives me hope for my career - maybe I will make Captain one day! But it also means she understands that there are some things that, no matter how much a Captain may want it to happen, will just not happen.

Anyway, it's been a long day, and we've got a longer one still ahead of us. Good night computer,

Personal Log OFF
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Re: Tournneau, Derek

Post: # 4500Post Tournneau
Fri Feb 17, 2017 4:26 pm

<<Getting Reaquainted, Shoreleave Mission #22, Day 02>>

<<USS Malinche, CEO's Quarters, Deck Alpha-3 Forward, 2350 Hours>>

Personal Log ON:

"An insane day, Computer. Where to begin - clambering through Jeffries tubes, ripping out components, schooling young Lieutenants? I had to go down to Quark's after my shift for a drink, man. So Mr. Aarden, our Alpha Hull supervisor, and his team ran a simulation this morning that raised just about every alarm the core system has. Turns out that they had not configured the test correctly. Now, ordinarily I would have dismissed it as poor engineering - a concern that I will think about another day - but the fact that the computer allowed the simulation to run using the same subroutines as the primary system....that was a bit concerning. I looked into the software - turns out that they had loaded the theoretical diagnostics from the shipyard, rather than the working model.

"I'm going to go ahead and celebrate the fact that the computer should keep whatever they did to the simulation from happening in real life...right, Computer?"

"Parameter undefined - please restate the question."

"Oh, never mind. Anyway, I didn't know that until after I had spent the morning climbing through the bowels of the ship, pulling the flow governor off of a Warp Plasma Transfer Relay, examining it, and re-installing it. Aarden owes me one...

"I met the XO this morning as well, seems very nice. Everyone on this ship seems really nice, it's easy to forget that this a tactical vessel. I suppose that yin requires its yang. Zeral seems such a delicate thing, but she must be a badass under pressure - she's nine years younger than me and Commander already. Granted, I left the service for a decade, but still. Being an empath, and from what I understand, a telepath, must certainly offer its advantages. I hope she wasn't reading my emotions too much today. She would have received a lot of static the way things have been moving on this ship the past couple weeks.

"Sent in my report to the Captain, ship looks like it's good to go for testing in the next day or two, so I'm looking forward to finally getting the Mali underway and prove our work. But for now, time to catch what little sleep I can get before the morning shift.

"Computer, end log."

OFF
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Re: Tournneau, Derek

Post: # 4509Post Tournneau
Wed Apr 26, 2017 3:21 pm

<<Getting Reaquainted, Shoreleave Mission #22, Day 03>>

<<USS Malinche, CEO's Quarters, Deck Alpha-3 Starboard, 1800 Hours>>

Personal Log ON:

"Well, Computer - should I call you Computer?"

The computer beeped negatively. "Parameter undefined - please restate the question."

"Oh, I wasn't really - never mind. Computer? Log? Loggy.

"Well, Loggy, looks like the Captain has taken receivership of the vessel today. We're setting out tomorrow afternoon to give the ship a good shaking down. They're going to be shutting down the cores for a final full diagnostic in a little over an hour. I'm going to catch some shut eye for a few hours, but I'll have to wake up to perform the final sweep. I think that Ms. Beladd has the shutdown well in hand.

"She's proving to be as good an officer as her service record would suggest - sharp, too. She already caught that secondary core deviation. A little over-eager, but maybe that's what I need, a breath of fresh air. Fresh eyes, fresh ears. But not fresh hair," Derek chortled. "I think we're going to get along really well - just like everyone else I've met on the ship so far. I've been in some situations where that was not the case - on the Tian An Men, for instance - between attrition and reassignment, we didn't have the luxury of interviewing candidates. That led to some very strained relationships from time to time. Even on the Oberon, some people just couldn't deal with Captain Valek and his - Vulcanness. I think he secretly liked my jokes, but a lot of people didn't get him.

"Here though, everyone seems to be on the same page. Even the junior officers seem to be more mature than their years. Still a little green, perhaps, but not so adolescent as I was when I was first out.

"Anyway, I'm logging off for now. Have to be up in a few hours. See you tomorrow, Loggy."

The computer beeped again. "Command "Loggy" unknown - possible options are: 'Log off', 'New Log', Supplemental Log', 'Reply - "

"Never mind! Log out, computer"

OFF
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Re: Tournneau, Derek

Post: # 4542Post Tournneau
Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:00 pm

<<Back for More, Shoreleave Mission #23, Day 02>>

<<Kerry Park, Seattle, Earth -- Tournneau Residence -- 0804 Hours>>

Personal Log ON:

“Good morning, Loggy. This is a rare one for me - sleeping in till eight.” Derek stretched his arms in the air as he sat on his bed, dictating the log while watching the city in the window.

“It’s good being home with the family; it’s good being here. Especially, given that the anniversary of Anaya’s death is only a couple days away.

“It’s been nine years - “ Derek paused, and reclined on the headboard, looking up at the ceiling. “Nine years since the Impetuous was destroyed. The time makes it….less stinging. Easier...to accept, but not to forget.

“I still think about it every day - it doesn’t have to be prolonged or incapacitating, but each day something brings that day itself to mind. It can be something in a conversation, a familiar sound, a smell - it comes to mind, it passes from mind, but it’s there. The ghost of my ship, the ghost of my wife.

“I can still hear her last words to me - words said to everyone - ‘We’re abandoning ship.’ There was no time to think in that moment, only react. I remember being dragged away from the engineering console, hoisted by my engineer’s mate as I desperately tried to jettison the core, despite the failed interlocks. I remember seeing the other two pods fly out after ours, knowing that the rest of the crew had made it safely. I remember having that knowledge evaporate when they were recovered with only three other crewmembers - fired to safety by the computer at the last possible moment before the overload.

“Her last act of kindness towards me was buying the time that we needed to survive. She continued firing what weapons we had, along with the entire bridge crew, until the last. Between their last salvo and the ultimate explosion, the pirates were not able to pursue us in the pods.

“Thanks to my family, thanks to this place, I was able to recover from that whole ordeal. But it’s definitely left its mark. Especially when it comes to women.

“Don’t get me wrong, Loggy, I have eyes. I’m still breathing. But I’ve not even done as much as hold a woman’s hand in the time since then. Naturally, the first few years the wound was quite raw. I had no interest in pursuing anyone at all.

“But now, the wound is scarred over. And I think I am ready to put myself ‘out there’ again. I know that Anaya would have wanted that, we both knew the risks of space. But I can’t help but feel like I would be betraying her in some way.

“She gave everything she had for me, and in return it feels like I would be tarnishing her sacrifice by getting involved with someone else. I’ve certainly had opportunities since then - there was Lieutenant Adams on the Oberon - she was certainly persistent.” Derek stopped to chuckle to himself wistfully. “But I just couldn’t - she wasn’t even in my department. But I just couldn’t. And she seemed lovely. I couldn’t even sit down for a meal with her.

“But now….boy this is strange.” Derek stood up from the bed and walked to the window. The city had woken well ahead of him and was back to its usual level of busyness. “But now, Viradia.

“What started as collegiality two years ago has grown now into a great friendship. I’ve had friends before, and since, but I feel like V is perhaps the best friend I’ve ever had. Certainly, it’s the fastest I’ve ever gotten along with someone. And our friendship is great - we work together, eat meals together, go to the holodeck together - she’ll play Captain Hastings and I’ll play Poirot. We talk a lot, about a lot of things. Home, family, future.

“But the subject of feelings...like, feeling feelings, that’s never been brought up. It’s the pink elephant sitting in the corner drinking tea. In this case, maybe the elephant’s blue.

“Honestly, maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just an old man that’s flattered by a young woman’s attentions. But the Malinche’s not a small ship. She could have her pick of the litter. She’s not involved with anyone, either.

“It’s just...complicated. We work together well. Really well - I’ve never had a working dynamic like the one we have. We both live, eat, and breathe that ship. She’s a professional - even though we’re friends, she keeps things by the book when we’re on the clock. She’s good, too - she can crunch equations in her head that I need a PADD for. We understand each other well.

“Now, I know there’s no rule against relationships in a chain of command, but it’s certainly discouraged. Still, we are a deep space vessel. It’s bound to happen. I mean, the captain’s husband is in the service and is aboard the ship. Which is fun, because his name is Derek, too. Kersare loves it when I do the whole ‘Hello Derek,’ ‘Ah, yes hello, Derek’ routine.”

Derek paused and turned to the replicator station in his bedroom. “Iced mocha, almond milk.” He took a sip and continued.

“Thing is, I don’t think that either of us are really looking for it, but I think we may have found it. I just don’t want to damage what we have now. Romance has a way of making smooth waters stormy. It could endanger our friendship - it could even endanger the crew in the wrong circumstances. I don’t want to lose what we have, but I just feel like this is going to be the natural progression if we continue our friendship. Like my brother said last night, we’re practically dating, just without the amorous component.

“In a weird way, this is very similar to how it happened with Anaya. We weren’t looking for it, we just worked well together and enjoyed each other’s company. But as Captain Valek would put it, ‘the outcome was only logical’.

“Of course, seeing Viradia last night doesn’t help at all.” Derek shook his head as he drank more of the coffee. “Having to go exchange bags - Lieutenant Commander reduced to a glorified valet.” He laughed to himself at the absurdity of the situation. “There she was in the officers’ dormitories at Headquarters. With that blue smile and those orange eyes. I know I’m black, but I probably looked about as red as an impulse manifold!

“Ugghh, I feel like such an adolescent. I’m past forty. I’m too old to be feeling bashful, dammit! I’m a warp engineer. I can tear apart a dilithium matrix in a day. I know every bolt, every weld in my ship. But I don’t know what to do about this.

The doorbell chimed and interrupted Derek’s thoughts. “Derek, are you awake yet?” his sister Adelaide (PNPC) called over the intercom. “We’re going to go downtown for breakfast, wanna come with?”

“Computer, pause,” Derek ordered. He keyed the intercom to respond to his sister, “Yes, I’ll be right there. Lemme throw something on first.” He released the intercom and began changing as he continued.

“Computer resume - well, I’m just going to do the same thing this time that happened with Anaya - I’m just going to continue on and see what happens. Not going to force it, not going to try. If it happens naturally, great. If it doesn’t, that’s great too. We continue on as the friends that we are.”

His eyes gazed skyward. “I just need to know that I have your blessing.

“Loggy, log OFF”

Adelaide Tournneau (PNPC)
Chief Financial Officer,
Tournneau Trading Co.

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Re: Tournneau, Derek

Post: # 4609Post Tournneau
Wed Mar 14, 2018 4:11 pm

<<Back for More, Shoreleave Mission #23, Day 05>>

ON:

<<Kerry Park, Seattle, Earth -- Tournneau Residence -- 0905 Hours>>

“Personal Log - January 11th, 2394.

“Well, Loggy, it’s been quite an eventful last few days. Yesterday marked the ninth year after Anaya’s death. I was happy to be back on Earth for the annual remembrance that my family holds. It’s usually a small, intimate affair - some of our old friends, Anaya’s family and the like - but this year they really threw a surprise at me.

“Over the past few years, the family business has been saving for a large expansion in their fleet. Because I’ve long since deinvested myself from the company, I didn’t know this until yesterday. They actually managed to get a mothballed Centaur-class cruiser, the USS Boston, on lease from Starfleet. They’ve spent the last two years refitting it; modernizing, demilitarizing, and remaking the vessel into a long range freighter.

“That in and of itself is amazing. There are only a few civilian outfits that are permitted to operate ships of that magnitude under the auspices of the Federation. But the really amazing thing is that this new flagship of the fleet is named in honor of Anaya - the SS Srivastava.

“I can’t think of a better way to have her memorialized - not in a monument or a mausoleum, but a living and working ship. It’s truly a beautiful way to keep her legacy living on.

“Last night was important for another reason as well. I invited Viradia to accompany me to the service.

“After the ceremony, which was quite emotional for all involved, Viradia found me on the bridge in the conference room, in front of the dedication plaque. Instead of the standard small inscription, the ship has an enormous bronze etching of Anaya on her first day as Captain of the Impetuous. It was a very poignant moment for me, and I could not constrain my emotions.

“Even through the sadness of remembering the loss I suffered, I felt joy in knowing the new companionship I’ve gained. And I finally, despite my misgivings, actually let her know that. I told her that I was glad to have her. And then I cried. Miserably. And she just stood there and held me, and we cried together.

“For the first time in nine years, I was finally comfortable enough to let someone into that arena - someone in that close.

“I don’t know how far this is going to go now - I’m in waters I haven’t sailed in a long, long, time. But I’m not going to listen to my fears about the future anymore. I’m not going to second guess about the future of our friendship or our careers. We’re both above that, and it’s silly to think that either of us would do something as childish as endanger the ship or our careers over a future disagreement which may or may not happen.

“Anaya’s memorial is something that is living and working. It’s time that I did the same with my memories of her as well - never to forget, always to cherish - but also, to live.

“Computer, Log OFF.”
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Lieutenant Commander Derek Tournneau
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USS Malinche NCC-38997-A

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